My New Addiction


Everyone has a New Year’s resolution and about 45% actually stick with it. Well I want to be that in that percentage. Last year I made a resolution to stop smoking “cold turkey” and you know what I did. I am now one year SMOKE FREE! I was not a heavy smoker, but I have smoked for many years and always outside always from the kids. I was always self-conscious about what I smelled like to other people. Now being one year smoke free, I now know what that smell is and man does it stink! Smell like a stale ass ashtray. Pardon my french, but I want to be honest and hold nothing back. Oh don’t get me wrong I still have moments where I CRAVE that cancer stick especially when I walk by and smell someone light one up. Smokers you know what the first light smells like and oooh its sooo good! YA!  Guess you can say I got smoke out and noticed a big changed in how I feel altogether.


Well this year I decided to take care of me! What do I mean by me? Well I take care of my four children and make sure they have everything they could possibly have and more. I always wanted to give them more than I had as a child. These day’s kids get it all, but we as parents forget about us. Does it sound selfish? NO! It is time to take care of you! You have to take care of you to take care of your them. That means whatever you want it to mean, but as for me it means health and appearance. In December of 2013 I was diagnosed with  Hyperthyroidism and at that point I guess I knew I wasn’t immortal and I could get sick or have something wrong with me and I got scared! Long story short I dropped a lot of weight in a really short time and was extremely dizzy and my heart raced like a horse and much more. Hell I thought I was going to die. Doctor and I played with medication to hopefully get me and on the right track which we are now, but with all the juggling I also gained sixty pounds from it all. I got depressed and was always in my pajamas and didn’t get out and want to go anywhere.  This year I said, I will make a new years resolution and get “ME” back! Thinking to myself what happened to Beth? This woman who is 31 years old and not living the life she wants because she hides behind her baggy clothes with no makeup on and her hair a mess! Ugh and when was the last time those nails got done and you got grey hair sprouting. Do you have your mental picture yet? I am 5′ 5″ and as of today I weigh 196.0 pounds. That number is hard for me to say and write. Well just so you know that number will change! My new addiction will be losing that weight and getting me back in every way and in a healthy way. I want to break free from that shell I’ve been hiding under and let the real me shine! I have had my fitbit for almost a year to help me track my progress, weight, food intake,  etc,. Never quite followed through as I should have. Yesterday I joined a gym. Never in my life have I stepped into one and let alone got a membership. I meet my trainer and start one Monday. I am so nervous and excited all at once. I felt overwhelmed and out of place and I even expressed that with them as well. Do you know what they told me? They said everyone is in here for the same reason and no one is to judge and we all started from somewhere. Best thing is I have the support of my husband which means a lot to me. I want to better myself so I can better them. I want to be happy inside and out! If this sounds like you in any way and you want to break your shell? I will tell you this, do it!