Reason Being Nonactive

Image result for mommy holding baby bees

We all know as a parent the struggle of summer vacation coming to an end and school starting to begin. It can all be overwhelming at times and fighting the crowds though the store to gather the supplies and new clothes etc., I kind of took that time to sit back and reflect on my life and what I wanted to do and I realized my children aren’t so little anymore.

My oldest and only daughter is a Senior in high school and has a job now! Did I mention she has a car and drives? Scary to think and I know she is a safe driver, but as a parent do we ever stop worrying? I stop and wonder how did she grow up so fast? I feel like I am at a stand still and everything around me is going in fast forward.

My oldest son is just now entering in high school and I’m a bit overwhelmed with preparing him and his assistant with the change. Having to deal with changes through the school for him to be able to access the building properly, not to mention IEP meetings, doctors, medication and ordering new equipment for him. Having a child with a disability of any kind is hard and fighting for them and their rights is even harder at times. Thankfully everyone has been working diligently together to make this a comfortable transition. As I stand back just to look at him I don’t see that baby boy anymore he is growing into a man. When did that happen, and that voice it had gotten so deep. Even though he is really nonverbal he has words he can say and MOM is number one on that list. That boy there takes all my energy each day, but that struggle in the end is worth it and I am grateful to have him.

Oh and then there is these two now in 3rd grade and 4th grade. There as about as close as twins being there are only fourteen months apart. Of course they fight like cats and dogs, but at the end of the day they are brothers. They like to wrestle and jump off of things even when I tell them not to! I guess the saying is true “boys will be boys”. Before I know it they’ll be in high school and then college and starting their lives.


Where does the time go? We get so caught up on things we have to do or need to do, I think some days we need to do nothing. I had a friend who said enjoy the chaos now because one day your house will be empty and you will miss the fighting, crying and laughter. So just enjoy it even when the days are hard and on the days you want to just throw your hands up in the air. Keep staying strong and love them with all your heart because life is too short not to.

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My New Addiction


Everyone has a New Year’s resolution and about 45% actually stick with it. Well I want to be that in that percentage. Last year I made a resolution to stop smoking “cold turkey” and you know what I did. I am now one year SMOKE FREE! I was not a heavy smoker, but I have smoked for many years and always outside always from the kids. I was always self-conscious about what I smelled like to other people. Now being one year smoke free, I now know what that smell is and man does it stink! Smell like a stale ass ashtray. Pardon my french, but I want to be honest and hold nothing back. Oh don’t get me wrong I still have moments where I CRAVE that cancer stick especially when I walk by and smell someone light one up. Smokers you know what the first light smells like and oooh its sooo good! YA!  Guess you can say I got smoke out and noticed a big changed in how I feel altogether.


Well this year I decided to take care of me! What do I mean by me? Well I take care of my four children and make sure they have everything they could possibly have and more. I always wanted to give them more than I had as a child. These day’s kids get it all, but we as parents forget about us. Does it sound selfish? NO! It is time to take care of you! You have to take care of you to take care of your them. That means whatever you want it to mean, but as for me it means health and appearance. In December of 2013 I was diagnosed with  Hyperthyroidism and at that point I guess I knew I wasn’t immortal and I could get sick or have something wrong with me and I got scared! Long story short I dropped a lot of weight in a really short time and was extremely dizzy and my heart raced like a horse and much more. Hell I thought I was going to die. Doctor and I played with medication to hopefully get me and on the right track which we are now, but with all the juggling I also gained sixty pounds from it all. I got depressed and was always in my pajamas and didn’t get out and want to go anywhere.  This year I said, I will make a new years resolution and get “ME” back! Thinking to myself what happened to Beth? This woman who is 31 years old and not living the life she wants because she hides behind her baggy clothes with no makeup on and her hair a mess! Ugh and when was the last time those nails got done and you got grey hair sprouting. Do you have your mental picture yet? I am 5′ 5″ and as of today I weigh 196.0 pounds. That number is hard for me to say and write. Well just so you know that number will change! My new addiction will be losing that weight and getting me back in every way and in a healthy way. I want to break free from that shell I’ve been hiding under and let the real me shine! I have had my fitbit for almost a year to help me track my progress, weight, food intake,  etc,. Never quite followed through as I should have. Yesterday I joined a gym. Never in my life have I stepped into one and let alone got a membership. I meet my trainer and start one Monday. I am so nervous and excited all at once. I felt overwhelmed and out of place and I even expressed that with them as well. Do you know what they told me? They said everyone is in here for the same reason and no one is to judge and we all started from somewhere. Best thing is I have the support of my husband which means a lot to me. I want to better myself so I can better them. I want to be happy inside and out! If this sounds like you in any way and you want to break your shell? I will tell you this, do it!


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Life at the Hive



Thursday, October 16th was a very scary day for us at the hive. “A” come home from school and as I was getting dinner prepared and all the kids were playing I look over to only find out he was having a seizure. He has only had one other seizure that anyone has ever witnessed and that was back in March 2013. Since “A’s” first seizure they had put him on medication to help calm and possibly prevent another seizure to occur. That morning he acted fine and was all well at school, but there was something weird that happened that morning and it makes me think. “A” has a service dog named Zeus, but also is his best friend. “A” and Zeus could never be on their own as “A” will always need another person to help. That morning at 6 am I open “A’s” bedroom door to wake him up and get ready for school. Zeus makes sure he is the first in the room to wake him up and welcome him with kisses and then lays next to him. As “A” starts to wake up I go make another cup of coffee and sit at the dining room table. That morning Zeus did something strange (Zeus is a Labrador Retriever) he started to bark  and howl a bit. To me he almost sounded like a big old hound dog and I had never heard that tone come out of him before. Zeus was sitting and looking my way while he was barking. Zeus is not a seizure alert dog and from what I have been told there is no way to train them. How a seizure alert dog is found is by having maybe ten dogs with five people who have a seizure and they watch for a response and if that dog responds every time then, they know that dog can sense them. Only thing is if a dog warns you in some way you don’t know when it will happen. So, I question did Zeus know? Then ten hours later “A” had a seizure after he came home from school. “A” was turning blue when I pulled him out of his wheelchair and having a hard time breathing. Man was I scared but I knew what to do and what my son needed. I had my husband call 911 and we had to wait at least five minutes to give him a certain medication if the seizure is five minutes or longer. By that time the paramedics showed up and took over. One minute feels like an hour at that moment. We went to our local hospital and then transferred to Cardinal Glennon Children’s hospital and spent the night for observation. He was alert and awake most of the evening and slept most of the night. All to find  out he just outgrew his dosage and his body is going through changes as well. Overall in the end we are blessed to have another day.  “A” got to come home and we signed for our new home and my daughter “S” just turned fourteen! So this weekend we will relax a bit and get ready to move into our new home.



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Life at the Hive


We are moving!! Yup, we will soon be officially homeowners! Over the summer my husband and I have been searching for a house for our family. In reality we had been looking for a home for a little over a year. We have a pretty big family, at least I think so! There is me, dad, three boys, one girl, one cat and dog. I was hoping we could find a house before the new year of school had started so we would have to take the kids away from their new friends. Our closing date is on 17th of October so within that time I will one busy bee!

I will be here to share some awesome things, just not as much. I love packing and getting everything ready for our new home, but on the other hand it is stressful. I am trying to get the other schools ready for my son whom I will call “A”. He has Cerebral Palsy and I am so nervous and scared as to how he will cope with that change! “A” has been with his personal assistant for almost five years and everyone knows “A” and his assistant knows what he needs and how to take care of him. I am sure in time “A” will adjust, but I am scared because he cannot verbalize what he needs and he tries to tell you with body language. As a mother we cannot help to worry right? I just want him to be accepted and loved in his new school as he is now in the old school. With this new move and big change in our lives we will be adding a new member to our big family as well. A new puppy! So, with the move and craziness we will be having this sweet little puppy roaming around the new house. Potty training and all that stuff will be fun all over again. Our lives are going to literally feel like they are turning upside down, but only for the better. This is a new chapter in our lives and I feel it will be wonderful!


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